There are some times in life when you face a decision. A decision that will either uproot you and make you face chaos and turmoil for the promised more fulfilling version of your current life or leave you right where you started. Risk it? Or no? Is it worth it? Is it superfluous? Is it selfish? Is it a “good” decision? Sound? Rooted in passion?
Flash to my life: I applied on an off chance to NYC Teaching Fellows program. Basically guaranteeing me, upon possible acceptance, successful training etc., that I would be teaching ESL to students in high-needs schools in one of the five boroughs for up to the next five years, starting in June of this year. First off, the technical implications of this are rough, at best. My husband is active duty in the U. S. Army, stationed, ahhhhh, a rough 16 hour drive from the southern most reaches of the Big Apple. He will be finishing his service relatively soon…..however, if I receive this offer ( I’ve interviewed and am waiting, impatiently for a reply), I will be in New York soon, like soon soon, in training…
ESL is my thing. My passion. Legitimate, legal immigration is the bomb (come at me haters). It is the stuff this country is made of. Melting-pot, basic, country-building stuff. America-building stuff. We have a responsibility, whether we like it or not, to immigrants. It starts with arming them. Take it easy, revolutionaries, I mean with words.
Think about legally going into a hope-filled country where you speak maybe five words of the national language. You are expected to find a job, feed your family, make a decent living to put an acceptable roof over your heads armed simply with those five words. No, thank you, I am good. I would rather not take that challenge on. Yet countless immigrants do every day. My heroes. Brave beyond words. I aim to arm these folks with the tools they need to make. it. work.
If you know me at all, you know that I am indecisive, at best. I have wanted to be a lawyer, a writer, a teacher, a brain surgeon (I clearly thought I was of much higher intelligence at a younger age), an event planner, a veterinarian and the list goes on. ESL is the first thing I have stuck with.
Long story short: if there is something in your heart that keeps playing over and over like a Tay Swift song, follow that.
If I made it through this interview, I will know soon. And I will go. I will make that choice to make my real-life, awake dreams real despite the real-life complications that may come with it.