Lessons

When people tell you that you will eventually  “find yourself” it can feel hollow and patronizing. Until you actually know what that means to you, it can feel condescending even. What an ironic statement: find yourself. I’m here. I am right here. Found me! I win!

Not.

It’s not that easy, of course. And it is also not a journey on which we can purposely set out. It is a journey we stumble into headlong and one day we hopefully will realize it was all for something.

 

Some important notes on learning life lessons:

 

1. Sometimes you are going to feel like you are butting heads constantly with the people in your life. It feels like you are continually doing something wrong, nothing you do is right. Pay close attention to these experiences. You may be learning a lesson in spite of someone about which you care a great deal. I am guilty of this on a grand scale. I just learned this about myself. I sometimes learn my how-to-be-a-better-person lessons by hurting others, inadvertently of course. That’s not fair. Be aware of this and avoid it. If you feel like you are having a repeated issue, take a step back. Breathe. Ruthlessly look at your actions objectively and change them if need be. There’s your lesson. LEARNED!

2. You will face a few weeks, few months, few years etc. in a state of transition. It might be painless or it might be excruciating. You might not even realize you’re learning lessons until 6 months later and you look back and say “WHAT?! I USED TO BEHAVE LIKE THAT?!” Yes, yes you did. You won’t anymore because you learned your lesson, silly. The point is, if it’s an excruciating time you’re having, keep your chin up, move out of the situation (you are not a tree) and know that you will be better for it.

3. Be proud. Do not ever let anyone make you think that the lessons you are learning, or the decisions you are making, are insignificant. They are yours and yours alone. They may align with others’ learned lessons and life experiences and they may not, but you are you and they are them (hmmm….you know what I mean). We each have our own unique life stories and time frames and relationships. It is your life. That’s it. As long as you’re not truly hurting yourself or anyone else, keep on keepin’ on.

4. SLOW DOWN. Let life come to you. Stop trying to force things. If it feels forced, it is not right. Spend a night alone. Do things that make you happy . Take a walk. Analyze why you feel like you do. Slow down and be you. Be proud of who you are and what you believe and share it.

rumi-quotes-28

Merci beaucoup Brody, Wednesday and Penelope for some cool, recent lessons learned.

If I can make it there…

As of Thursday, it is safe to announce that I have been accepted into the NYC Teaching Fellows 2015 for ESL…I have officially given notice at a job I love, in a place I adore, to take on a brand new adventure and to forge the way for our little, amazing family-that-could to make a home in New York, close to family, old friends and familiar, beloved places. I will be leaving Georgia at the end of May and I can truly say that of all of the places I have lived, this is my absolute, hands-down favorite. While living here I have formed unbreakable friendships, forever relationships and gained incomparable work and life experience. My heart is full of hope and excitement but breaking for the fact that I am leaving this amazing place. Thank you to the people and places who have shown me how to live, what love really means and how to appreciate the little things and moments in life. A HUGE, bittersweet thank you to Woodruff Property Management Company (WPMC) . You introduced me to some of my best friends, crazy experiences, fun, life and lots of love. Without you I would not have met half of the people I have met, would not have had a quarter of the fun experiences I have had and would not have had nearly any of the crazy awesome stories I have from this place.

As I move back home to New York, it is with a heavy but excited heart. I know that my true friends and Columbus family will be with me forever and I am forever grateful for this path I was placed on in life.

Onto BIG THINGS in the BIG APPLE!

P.S.- Come visit!

There are some times in life when you face a decision. A decision that will either uproot you and make you face chaos and turmoil for the promised more fulfilling version of your current life or leave you right where you started. Risk it? Or no? Is it worth it? Is it superfluous? Is it selfish? Is it a “good” decision? Sound? Rooted in passion?

Flash to my life: I applied on an off chance to NYC Teaching Fellows program. Basically guaranteeing me, upon possible acceptance, successful training etc., that I would be teaching ESL to students in high-needs schools in one of the five boroughs for up to the next five years, starting in June of this year. First off, the technical implications of this are rough, at best. My husband is active duty in the U. S. Army, stationed,  ahhhhh, a rough 16 hour drive from the southern most reaches of the Big Apple. He will be finishing his service relatively soon…..however, if I receive this offer ( I’ve interviewed and am waiting, impatiently for a reply), I will be in New York soon, like soon soon, in training…

ESL is my thing. My passion. Legitimate, legal immigration is the bomb (come at me haters). It is the stuff this country is made of. Melting-pot, basic, country-building stuff. America-building stuff. We have a responsibility, whether we like it or not, to immigrants. It starts with arming them. Take it easy, revolutionaries, I mean with words.

Think about legally going into a hope-filled country where you speak maybe five words of the national language. You are expected to find a job, feed your family, make a decent living to put an acceptable roof over your heads armed simply with those five words. No, thank you, I am good. I would rather not take that challenge on. Yet countless immigrants do every day. My heroes. Brave beyond words. I aim to arm these folks with the tools they need to make. it. work.

If you know me at all, you know that I am indecisive, at best. I have wanted to be a lawyer, a writer, a teacher, a brain surgeon (I clearly thought I was of much higher intelligence at a younger age), an event planner, a veterinarian and the list goes on. ESL is the first thing I have stuck with.

Long story short: if there is something in your heart that keeps playing over and over like a Tay Swift song, follow that.

If I made it through this interview, I will know soon. And I will go. I will make that choice to make my real-life, awake dreams real despite the real-life complications that may come with it.