When people tell you that you will eventually “find yourself” it can feel hollow and patronizing. Until you actually know what that means to you, it can feel condescending even. What an ironic statement: find yourself. I’m here. I am right here. Found me! I win!
It’s not that easy, of course. And it is also not a journey on which we can purposely set out. It is a journey we stumble into headlong and one day we hopefully will realize it was all for something.
Some important notes on learning life lessons:
1. Sometimes you are going to feel like you are butting heads constantly with the people in your life. It feels like you are continually doing something wrong, nothing you do is right. Pay close attention to these experiences. You may be learning a lesson in spite of someone about which you care a great deal. I am guilty of this on a grand scale. I just learned this about myself. I sometimes learn my how-to-be-a-better-person lessons by hurting others, inadvertently of course. That’s not fair. Be aware of this and avoid it. If you feel like you are having a repeated issue, take a step back. Breathe. Ruthlessly look at your actions objectively and change them if need be. There’s your lesson. LEARNED!
2. You will face a few weeks, few months, few years etc. in a state of transition. It might be painless or it might be excruciating. You might not even realize you’re learning lessons until 6 months later and you look back and say “WHAT?! I USED TO BEHAVE LIKE THAT?!” Yes, yes you did. You won’t anymore because you learned your lesson, silly. The point is, if it’s an excruciating time you’re having, keep your chin up, move out of the situation (you are not a tree) and know that you will be better for it.
3. Be proud. Do not ever let anyone make you think that the lessons you are learning, or the decisions you are making, are insignificant. They are yours and yours alone. They may align with others’ learned lessons and life experiences and they may not, but you are you and they are them (hmmm….you know what I mean). We each have our own unique life stories and time frames and relationships. It is your life. That’s it. As long as you’re not truly hurting yourself or anyone else, keep on keepin’ on.
4. SLOW DOWN. Let life come to you. Stop trying to force things. If it feels forced, it is not right. Spend a night alone. Do things that make you happy . Take a walk. Analyze why you feel like you do. Slow down and be you. Be proud of who you are and what you believe and share it.
Merci beaucoup Brody, Wednesday and Penelope for some cool, recent lessons learned.